My Family and Other Freaks by Carol Midgley (author)

Danielle is doomed in love and has the parents from hell. Her mum and dad are embarrassingly scruffy and their car bonnet is a different colour to the rest of the car. Worst of all, they’re still in love, which is totally gross considering how ancient they are. Her best friend is a (nice) nerd, her love-rival is an airhead and her dog Simon is in love with an Ugg boot.

Despite all this, she hatches a plan – indeed many plans – to win the gorgeous Damien’s affections. But when she brings Simon to the park to show him off in front of Damien, a smelly little accident lands Danielle with the nickname ‘Dench the Stench’. Could things get any worse?

When Simon is accused of biting children in the neighbourhood and her Dad decides to have him taken away, Danielle’s life truly begins to unravel. And then her mother announces she’s pregnant – again – which gives Danielle’s schoolmates even more ammunition with which to make fun of her.

Will Damian ever notice her? Can she save Simon? And will Danielle ever live her family down?